Clothes Make the Man

May 12, 2008

As we flew to the 2006 Bassmaster Classic outside Orlando, my wife observed that everything I wore that day was either free fishing stuff or from Wal-Mart.  The following analysis proves her to have been wrong:

Jacket: came with the boat
Hat: free
Shirt: tackle company
Jeans: Wal-Mart
Skivvies: Wal-Mart
Socks: Wal-Mart

But the shoes were from Payless.

Your immediate conclusion is probably that I'm a cheap SOB, and you would be at least partially right.  The other part is that like most fishermen, I love free stuff.  I suppose that enjoyment is related to my "thriftiness" (which, surprisingly, doesn't apply to high end crankbaits, fishing rods and fluorocarbon line), but somehow not exactly on point.  Whether it's a distinction without a difference is anybody's guess.

But the bottom line is that I have two drawers full of t-shirts from various tackle companies and tournament organizations.  Anyone who has been around the game for even a few years can probably say the same.  I'm also pretty sure that I haven't paid for a new hat in at least three years, yet somehow have 10 in the back seat of the truck and another 10 on my dresser (having thrown away the unluckiest and rattiest members of the club last year).  If I'm dressed even semi-casually, then there's likely a fishing-related item somewhere in my ensemble. 

Unfortunately, I have to wear a suit to my day job, and have not yet found a way to integrate industry attire into that outfit.  When is Yamamoto going to come out with boxer shorts or a necktie? Or is there something obscene about the concept of a GYCB tie, kind of like my confusion over the Jerry Garcia-designed ties.  You wouldn't buy a jockstrap from a bikini model, would you, so why would you buy a tie from someone who never wore one? (Dead fans, if indeed there's something about Jerry I don't know, and he did indeed wear a tie semi-regularly, there's no need to stop your Volkswagen vans long enough to write me nasty emails.)

What makes my clothing accumulation so incredible (to me, at least) is that I have no sponsorships with any company.  I bought my boat retail, which was good because it enabled me to get the "promotional" items that came with such a purchase – hats, shirts, jacket and two rods.  When the rods arrived unexpectedly, my wife asked why they sent them and how much they were worth.  I told her they came with the boat and retailed for about $150 each.  She then asked why they couldn't have just taken $300 off the price of the boat.  That so misses the point.

I suppose I have some form of informal association with Yamamoto, but it's a matter of them giving me space to write and me more than filling it.  I do have a lot of GYCB clothing and I wear it proudly and frequently, but I don't think my tournament catches provide a measurable boost to GYCB's sales.

Which brings me to the Patch Pirate question: The holy grail of low-level fishing is not improving one's fishing skills or winning more tournaments.  Instead, everyone cares only about "sponsorship" (lower case "s" means that it could be anything from discounted product to a small monthly stipend, so long as it comes with some sartorial evidence of one's corporate affiliation).  I just don’t get the excitement – guys would rather give up time on the water to look like pros than actually become better fishermen.

I'd rather fish in a non-descript t-shirt and surprise everyone by doing well than come in wearing the full-on clown suit and be noticed for doing poorly.  I may be talking out of turn because I own a full closet of these shirts – the fruits of buying certain products, making teams, qualifying for events, etc. – but I'm greatly uncomfortable whenever I do wear one.  At some point, those of you who know me will probably see me in one, and this column will seem like a load of crap, but you have to believe me, it's greatly embarrassing for a hack like me to fly the colors.  Apparently others are not so bogged down by such feelings.

I see them all the time at Federation level and fruit jar tournaments.  Guys with patches all over (The "Woo Daves Starter Set," I call it), stickers on their truck, etc.  At the last regional Federation tournament I fished (under 50 boats, under $1,000 top prize), there was an angler with a full-on tournament shirt with a mix-and-match collection of logos from all across the fishing industry spectrum.  One was GYCB.  I checked the guy's name and didn't recognize it, which seemed odd, because I'm on this site just about every day and I thought I had met or emailed most of the staffers in my region…so I checked the site when I got home and couldn't find a connection.  Maybe he has some sort of deal through a distributor or a tackle shop, but I think he was just happy to look like a big shot. 

The whole sponsorship thing is a mystery to me.  As noted above, I'm very much in favor of free stuff, but the idea of hauling boats to shows in exchange for a few packs of worms seems like someone skipped economics class a bit too often.  I also don't like the idea of being forced to use certain products simply because I've affiliated with the company.  I have plenty of friends in the tackle business and I'm happy to accept their largesse, but there are certainly no expectations either way – they don't have to give me anything to maintain the friendship and I'll never write positively about their products simply because I know them. 

But in case they're wondering, I wear an XL t-shirt and prefer dark hats.

…Just kidding guys.